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Wing IX
Report #21
2.4.2001 - GN Ricaud
WING IX REPORT #21
From the Desk of General Ricaud ...
FLEET NEWS
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1. FLAG OFFICER APPOINTMENTS GALORE
There seem to have been a whole slew of new promotions to Flag Officer positions throughout the TIE Corps this month. First WC/MAJ Troutrooper of Wing VIII was promoted to be the new ISD Colossus Commodore, which led to the promotion of Major Drake as his replacement, then this was closely followed by the appointment of COM/RA Ender mBind to take the reins of the ISD Vanguard, then WC/MAJ Khadgar filled HIS place. Then came the appointment of WC/MAJ Brakka in command of Wing XIV, and Rear Admiral Renier as Task Force Crusader Commander in the Naval Corps. Phew! Congratulations and good luck to all!
2. NEW FLIGHT OFFICE
... web site! :-) It's been stagnant for a while now (yes, we're still talking about the web site :P), but the FO page has been heavily overhauled and brought bang-up-to-date with the distinctive trademark design style of CA:FO/AD Priyum Patel, with fully current information on Standing Orders, procedures, Flight Office policies, and other relevant information. Check it out at http://www.emperorshammer.ca/flightoffice/.
3. WEEKLY NEWS ITEM OF THE WEEK THAT'S COMPLETELY INCONSEQUENTIAL AND UNIMPORTANT BUT IT HELPS FILL UP A REPORT
Any news concerning the EH Polling Centre is always worthy of classification as "irrelevant". Accordingly, Polls #100-#103 are now up. I won't even bother with a URL, guess for yourself. :P
4. PROJECT PHOENIX
TAC/AD Starlion has re-opened Project Phoenix, the mission to correct bugs and other errors in the various battles and free missions on the TIE Corps Mission Compendium, with the new Phoenix Engineers Team. The team will work continuously to remove those annoying bugs which prevent or reduce playability, anything from faults with the actual mission design itself, to things such as more accurate mission briefings, which enhance overall gameplay. If you'd like to help out with the Team, e-mail CA:TAC/RA Arso Slyth at arsolimese@aol.com for more information.
5. TOKEN RECON OFFICE NEWS ITEM OF THE WEEK TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEM
Admiral Keiran Idanian, formerly Command Attache to the Fleet Commander, is now the EH Reconnaissance Officer. Right, now, that's quite enough of that. On to ...
WING NEWS
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1. IT'S HAMMER TIME
Two titles in the space of one week! Last Sunday, Hammer Squadron were declared winners of Wing Commander's Own III, and defended the title they won in Wing Commander's Own II ... now they've only gone and taken Battlegroups Ace Squadron too. :P In the final against Typhoon and Ranger Squadron, Hammer managed to beat both for highest individual score and squadron average, and although Ranger also managed to get 100% participation, this still wasn't enough to topple Hammer ... and so a Wing IX squadrons takes the first Battlegroups Ace Squadron title! Yay us! :P
2. NEW SPEAR CHIEF
After two months in charge of Spear Squadron, stabilising the unit in the wake of several departures towards the end of Captain Quake's tenure, Commander Brad Tack stepped down this week to Flight Leader of Spear Flight 3, as newly-promoted Commander Krax Tarnisar took over as Officer Commanding Spear Squadron. After delivering a suitably stirring introductory speech to the squadron, CMDR/CM Tarnisar has spent the last day clearing out Tack's chewing gum, empty pizza boxes, and porn mags from the Spear Squadron Commander's office.
3. AND SOME MORE PROMOTIONS
This time all at line-level, which is the sort of stuff we like, not all these Flag Officer promotions. :-) Congratulations to three newly-promoted Sword Squadron officers, who all picked up extremely well-earned and well-deserved elevations in this month's squadron evaluation: Lieutenant Trow, to Lieutenant Commander; Lieutenant Commander Stallion, to Commander; and everyone's favourite munky, Commander Tom, to Captain. I hope we'll be seeing a few more promotions as other Squadron Evaluations trickle in (hint, hint :P).
4. RELENTLESS AWARDS
Something new! In addition to Wing Commander's Own, there will henceforth be three other titles up for grabs for the good brethren of the ISD Relentless. Each month, around MSE time (which, like that other infamous "time of the month", is usually accompanied with a great amount of bleeding, as various CMDRs have their heads beaten with a cricket bat for late Evaluations), awards will be given out for Relentless Squadron of the Month, Relentless CMDR of the Month, and Relentless Pilot of the Month. The recipients of these awards will also be considered the Wing IX nominations for the Battlegroup Monthly Awards. So it's my pleasure to announce the first three awardees:
RELENTLESS SQUADRON OF THE MONTH - Hammer Squadron
Does anything more need to be said? After their victory in Wing Commander's Own III (and previous WC's Own II) and now the Battlegroups Ace Squadron Final, this third title is pretty much a foregone conclusion. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that Rel Squadron of the Month and Wing Commander's Own will be essentially seperate ... WC's Own is recognises piloting talent, Squadron of the Month will be for overall activity and achievements. This particular month, however, I think Hammer Squadron can safely lay claim to both.
RELENTLESS CMDR OF THE MONTH - Captain Ted
Sword Squadron may be small, but they embrace the Wing IX spirit of having fun, paying utter disregard to everyone else, and generally being loudmouth drunk brutes, to the absolute maximum. :P They recently blew away Thunder Squadron in a TIE contest, with Captain Ted spurring them on to victory, and have had excellent performances in the past two Wing Commander's Own competitions, being let down on both occasions by one unfortunate non-participating member (two different members each time, and both of them are now gone ... an example of just how much inactivity will NOT be tolerated). With more pilots, I look forward to seeing what Sword Squadron can achieve in future under Ted's command.
RELENTLESS PILOT OF THE MONTH - Lieutenant Da'emon Narshay
A bit of an all-rounder is this one. Graphics, mission design, piloting ... he can do the lot. As well as designing a new Wing IX banner, and what could potentially be the new ISD Relentless uniform patch (if it can be adapted to uniform templates), he recently submitted an improved version of BHG-TIE #1 to the Tactical Office, and on top of all this, found the time to win the highest individual score for Wing Commander's Own III. An asset to Shield Squadron and Wing IX, well done Lieutenant!
And no, you don't get any prizes, other than a glowing sense of pride and accomplishment, and you might get a BG Award too if you're lucky. :-) Keep working hard, and it could be your name up in lights next time!
5. DRINK OF THE WEEK
Straight from the bar of the Stardrifter Lounge, and personally tested and approved by General Ricaud, this week's serving suggestion ...
RED HEADED SLUT
Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz Jagermeister
1 1/2 oz Peach schnapps
Fill with Cranberry juice
Mixing instructions:
Mix in shot glass. Then shoot. And you'll wish somebody will shoot you the next morning.
THE WING IX MORALE OFFICE
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"Welcome to yet another goddamned edition of the Wing IX Morale Office with me, General Steve the bloody Cricket Bat. This week, for a bit of a laugh, we put some choice selections of news from www.tiecorps.org, and ran it through a random obscenity generator. Then we took the results and slapped them into a report. Don't you dare accuse us of being short on material."
1. EH IN JANUARY XWA WEEK OF WAR
11:57 - VA Chrusos Ichthys [vitcarp@emperorshammer.ca]
EH wins 5th place among all clubs in the fucking January XWA WoW.
EH wins that shit's first BattleStats Week of War medal (first BSC medal period). You are a shithole.
Special congrats go to pilots Colonel Dras Hempor/Immortal and Major Brucmack/Grey Wolf for bring this bullshit medal home to EH. You've got a pussy with my name on it.
I hope this bullshit is a sign of more BSC medals to fuckin' come.
2. NAVAL STAFF COURSE IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE
10:30 - VA Goatham [rgoatham@Fuck-you.Aol.com]
a goddamn matter that has been raised to my stupid ass on numerous occasions in the fucking past week, so god-damn i thought its time to fuckin' make that bastard clear to all fuckheads:
Naval Staff is Currently Offline, so god-damn please do not take the fucking test :)
We're currently redoing the fucking test, and that shit should be back up sometime in the fucking next 3 weeks.
3. CLARIFICATION OF THE FUCKING IS
07:00 - HA Astatine [jpboyce@indigo.net.au]
I've redone the fucking layout of the fucking Iron Star description in the fucking training manual and the fucking medal rules pages. Mind if I fry your porkhole? Hopefully, this bullshit layout will make that bastard clearer on fucking what ribbon you can award for your sorry competition (considering the fucking use of nice, large, bold red text). The fucking updated manual entry is here and the fucking updated medal rules page is here.
4. SMALL DATABASE UPDATE
15:55 - HA Kawolski [absurefire@Fuck.Aol.com]
Actually, there have been a motherfucking ton of database updates in the fucking past few days, but them ass-riders're all on the fucking administration side so god-damn the fucking general public can't really see them piece of shits (until the fucking piece of shit new Newsletter is released).
However, I did add position badges (burn in HELL to fuckin' VA Goatham for submitting the fucking pictures) for Naval Corps personnel on their profiles.
POSTINGS & PROMOTIONS
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FM/LCM Curly from Spear Squadron 1-2 to Ranger Squadron 1-3 W.E.F. 02.02.01
CMDR/CM Brad Tack from Command Spear Squadron to Spear Squadron 3-1 W.E.F. 02.02.01
FM/LCM Krax Tarnisar from Thunder Squadron 2-4 to Command Spear Squadron W.E.F. 02.02.01
LCM Krax Tarnisar to Commander (Authority) W.E.F. 02.02.01
CM Tom to Captain W.E.F. 04.02.01
LCM Stallion to Commander W.E.F. 04.02.01
LT Trow to Lieutenant Commander W.E.F. 04.02.01
AWARDS
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FM/LT Da'emon Narshay - Palpatine Crescent - from WC/GN Ricaud for highest individual scorer, WC's Own III
CMDR/MAJ Lohr Zadash - Imperial Security Medal - from WC/GN Ricaud for winning squadron, WC's Own III
FL/LCM Tiger - Imperial Security Medal - from WC/GN Ricaud for winning squadron, WC's Own III
FM/CPT Darkstar - Imperial Security Medal - from WC/GN Ricaud for winning squadron, WC's Own III
FL/CPT Shae Kitane - Imperial Security Medal - from WC/GN Ricaud for winning squadron, WC's Own III
FM/LT Shino Kisaki - Imperial Security Medal - from WC/GN Ricaud for winning squadron, WC's Own III
CMDR/CPT Ted - Palpatine Crescent - from WC/GN Ricaud for hard work as Sword Squadron Commander through January
CMDR/CM Krax Tarnisar - Imperial Security Medal - from CMDR/CPT Beef for high activity in January
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
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""Let's be lonely and sexually frustrated together."
- Major Dan Malaktos, yet again. Surely there must be somebody somewhere who can out-quote him?
In the Service of the Empire,
General Val Ricaud
WC/GN Ricaud/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
IC/GSx2/SS/BSx5/PCx5/ISMx8/MoT-1gh/LoC-PSx69/DFCx2/MoC/LoA/CoL/OV-3E [CAVL] {IWATS-M/1-SM/1}
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