Emperor's Hammer Newsletter #71

VOLUME #71: January 2001

IMPERIAL
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Imperial Navy Pilot Record
Major Brandon (#509)

Name: Brandon Luke Trilad (real name Brandon Oakley)

Rank: Major (MAJ)

Current Assignment: Typhoon Squadron Pilot/All-round Nice Guy

Scandoc Transmission Code: brandon@isdchallenge.org

Gender: Male

Race: Human (as far as I know :P)

Date of Birth: 18 years before Battle of Yavin

Place of Birth: Originally born on Corellia but soon after adopted on a Space Station

Marital Status: Single

Family: Adopted orphan. Step-father (Trilad, Malisk), Step-mother (Trilad, Celina) and half-sister (Trilad, Harim) on Thyferra. No blood relations known. Brother-in-law (Topaz, Corfus) known smuggler and freelance mercenary figure. 3 pet nerfs: 'Gladius', 'Banshee' and 'Jasmyn'

Social Status: Wealthy

Quote: "Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!"

Significant Events of Childhood and Adolescence: Abandoned by Jedi parents on a space station orbiting Thyferra. The mother and father were tracked, pursued and murdered (nastily) by a (nasty) band of (nasty) bounty hunters hired to aid the (nasty) Jedi scourge led by (mean old) Darth Vader and (grumpy) Emperor Palpatine during (nasty) Clone Wars. Brandon was found by Station Master Malisk Trilad who nurtured and introduced him to the many wonders of the universe, including a nice cup of tea. Found his calling in the arts of starfighter piloting and martial art combat. Educated by his father (and collegues) in Business, Galactic History and Medicine. His links with the Force were encouraged by a resident on the station, later identified as the Jedi Knight Rel Histon, a Padawan of the legendary Jedi Council Member Ki-Adi Mundi and notorious spice-sandwhich maker. Brandon learnt much from the deliquent Jedi but eventually slayed him in a violent battle as the young man slowly began his transgression towards the Dark Side. Brandon was recruited into the Galactic Empire aged 16 after an Imperial Officer noted his performance in battle; driving off a squadron of pirate Y-Wings single-handedly in an antiqued, unshileded TIE Interceptor before returning to the station and killing 9 of the boarders, saving a baby (cute one) from an explosion, placing his jacket over a puddle for a lady and taking a blaster bolt for a small puppy called 'Snuffles'. What a hero! Sources indicate he was recruited due to his biscuit-eating abilities.

Significant Events of Adulthood: Drafted straight into training as a Stormtrooper at Carida. Excelled as a sniper and in one-on-one combat. Didn't excel at avoiding injury and remembering his packed lunch. Underwent 2 years training as an Imperial Royal Guard. Served as the personal bodyguard for Admiral Screed before deciding his career resided within the Imperial Navy. After completing several Tour of Duty's under the likes of Admirals' Banjeer and Thrawn, Brandon married his childhood sweetheart from Thyferra, Leilani Topaz, an agent in Imperial Intelligence (Negotiations/Diplomacy/Bikini division) Leilani was killed while Brandon fought at the Battle of Endor, at which he was injured and captured. News of her death did not reach Bran until an Outer-Rim Rebel POW camp he was captive in was liberated by Hammer's Fist Troops 1 year after Endor. Brandon then signed up to the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet where he continues to serve in Typhoon Squadron on-board the ISD Challenge.

Alignment and Attitude: Dedicated and commited to his love of flying. A strong and relatively prominent figure within the TIE Corps, Dark Brotherhood and Imperial Senate (or so he'd like to think). Doesn't like taking things too seriously, always up for a laugh, bit of a joker. Enjoys the odd glass of juri juice (or chalquila, or lum, or Corellian Brandy, or anything with a higer alcohol content than his blood.....etc etc) in the cantina after a hard day eradicating scum from the galaxy. Occasional weirdo. Very special. Not dead yet.

Former Occupations: Security onboard father's Space Station, former stormtrooper and Imperial Guardsman, former pilot in Mu Squadron. ISD Challenge Cantina Barman/Drink tester

Hobbies: Practising and honing his lightsaber, martial arts and starfighting skills/techniques. Loves a good holo-movie (pr0n welcome :P). Sings, dances, active member of the Imperial Academy of Theatre and Literature. Plays for Imperial Lacrosse Team. Likes Twi'lek dancing girls. Proffesional drunkard. Part-time genius.

Tragedies: Death of first wife. Loss of left forearm during training as an Imperial Guard (artifical cybernetic replacement fitted, often malfunctions when alci is spilt on it). Loss of combination password on front door, locked out of offical quarters, usually sleeps in ISD Challenge bar. Blair Witch II. Jar Jar Binks. 24 beers, 2 hands and only one mouth. King Lear, Othello and Macbeth

Phobias and Allergies: Allergic to blaster bolts and Rancors. EXTREMELY ticklish. Too much alci and roast nerf often leads to production of bad smells :P Allergic reaction to certain types of MUSHROOM!!

Personal View of the Empire and EH: The most glorious Strike Fleet to grace the known galaxy. Some serious problems in command structure, authority, appreciation and attitude. Despite this, best bunch of lads and ladies (and humanoids, and other species) from here to the Outer Rim (of the toilet :P)

Reason for enlisting in the EH: 'Cause the Rebels tourtured me, the pirate and smuggling groups smelt funny and you're not allowed to kill stuff when you are a civilian (bah!)

Other Comments: I did NOT have sexual relations with THAT Ewok :P

ID Line: FM/MAJ Brandon/Typhoon 1-2/Wing X/ISD Challenge

Submitted: 1/14/2001 9:16:00 PM

Articles
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