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Star Wars Jokes - CM Eriond Kath'Razzit
T-Shirts in the Star Wars Universe
- "My Mom (and/or Dad) fought at the Battle of (Yavin/Hoth/Endor) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"
- "Have you hugged a wookie today?"
- "I'm with stupid" (With arrow pointing to Jabba)
- "My astromech went to the Death Star and all I got were the lousy Technical Schematics"
- "Emperor's slugs need love too"
Top Ten Signs You're a True Star Wars Fan
10. When arguing Star Wars against Star Trek, you use the words 'Star Trek Sissy Boys' at least 15 times.
9. You believe President Clinton should increase its budget. (I'm sorry, wrong Star Wars!)
8. At a Star Wars collectibles convention, you purchase Gammorean Guard saliva.
7. You waste your time writing Star Wars Top Ten lists. (No comment)
6. You foolishly believe that Lucas will ACTUALLY make more Star Wars movies, when you know he's just saying that so people will buy the new Star Wars merchandise and books, then in a year he'll give his famous 'I don't feel like it' speech.
5. You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of Anakin's wife.
4. You'd actually want a copy of that lousy Star Wars holiday special.
3. You stick up for Mark Hamill even when you know he's a bad actor.
2. You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.
1. You have recurring nightmares about Episodes 1-3 being about a dysfunctional family of Ewoks.
Top Twenty Star Wars Related Famous Last Words
1. "Aw, look captain! A cute furry animal!"
2. "I am fluent in over six mil..."
3. "No, sorry. You JUST missed the last Kenner figure."
4. "You seen that Vader guy's liver spots? Eeew!"
5. To Lando: "Hiya master!"
6. "There's a nice, big open cave in that asteroid right over there..."
7. "Emperor my butt!"
8. "Boba Fett? What a wuss!"
9. "Sorry, Kabe. All out of Juri Juice."
10. "Look mommy! Another moon just appeared out of nowhere! only isn't it kinda small?"
11. "Whip, stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, stir!" (Holiday special joke)
12. "Hey look! A vornskr! Here kitty, kitty, kitty!"
13. "Here's a good idea! Let's come into the Hoth system real close!"
14. "TIE Advanced? Never heard of it, but I'm sure I take it in my Y-Wing."
15.:: In front of Qwi Xux: "Bawk! Bawk, bawk, bawk!" while flapping arms
16. "Don't worry, this blaster has PLENTY of power left!"
17. "Finally! I've always wanted my own X-TIE!"
18. "Wuher! Check out this new droid I got!"
19. "Look at that ceeeeute little thing! What's his name again? Rukh?"
20. "And now back to the Star Wars Holiday Special!"
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