June KMT: Get In - ACO Iul Danth
In
all things droid, one key point to be remembered is that at no time should
routine memory wiping be allowed to become a rarity. No droid, no matter how quirky and pleasant,
should be allowed to develop a personality divergent from the manufacturer's
original personality design. The
following excerpt from the system log of the Crooked Deck, a Rendili
StarDrive Dreadnaught Heavy Cruiser that had been converted into a passenger
liner and mobile casino, shows the danger of allowing droids, especially those
with command authorization of a capital ship, to avoid routine memory wipes.
[Start
Log Transcription]
Captain
Terrick Proebyl: Lieutenant, why is our current course divergent from the plotted course nine point
three degrees with an increase in speed of two Sublight Units?
Lieutenant
Mirjana Schlard: According to my board, sir, current course and speed are holding to within less
than a tenth of a percent of their plotted norms. I'll have to check
with the navigations droid.
[Lieutenant
Schlard Exits Picture]
Voice
of Lt. Schlard: [muffled] Oh that's not right. That's not right. [yelling] Sir, the nav droid is spouting
something about a rendezvous with another droid that he claims to be in love with. He says he's heading to Alderaan.
Capt.
Proebyl: What? Droids don't fall in
love! Well tell him that Alderaan was destroyed years ago. And more importantly, tell him that this ship
is not going to Alderaan
or anywhere near that graveyard.
[Lt.
Schlard Enters Picture]
Lt.
Schlard: I tried sir. He locked me
out of the system. Says he must see his
beloved. He's increased speed another three Sublight
Units. We're going about as fast as this old bucket can go
without jumping to hyperspeed.
Capt.
Proebyl: So override the damn thing.
We can't just go galavanting off to Alderaan on the say so of a nutty droid that hasn't had a
proper memory wipe in years. Take manual control.
Lt.
Schlard: I can't, sir. The ship is
slaved to that droid's brain. We can't
navigate without
it. In fact, most of the ship's systems
are automated and slaved to that droid. It's the only way of running one of these old
Dreadnaughts without a ridiculously
high crew complime. . . oh great, we just jumped to hyperspeed.
Capt.
Proebyl: So shut down the engines!
At the very least we can survive until someone
is able to rescue us.
Lt.
Schlard: No good, Captain. We can't
shut down engines without shutting down the nav.
droid and we can't shut him down without taking life support offline as
well. We're
just going to have to accept a side journey to Alderaan.
Capt.
Proebyl: Then patch me in to the ship's comm. I have to tell the passengers the bad news and hope they don't
riot. We're going to have to keep them
well liquored. Inform the cruise director that all ship's bars are to
be kept operational and offering
all drinks at half price.
[Break
Transcription]
Capt.
Proebyl: Lieutenant, how long have we been hanging in orbit around a non
existent planet?
Lt.
Schlard: Long enough, sir, for me to tire of answering that question.
Capt.
Proebyl: Fair enough. Would you be
so kind, then, as to ask the droid what he's waiting
for and to inform him again that Alderaan was destroyed years ago and no doubt his lover perished in a
fireball the likes of which we'll never see again?
Lt.
Schlard: Aye, sir.
[Lt.
Schlard Exits Picture]
Lt.
Schlard: [muttering indecipherable] [yelling] Uh, Sir, things just got
worse. He says he can't live without his beloved. Just keeps printing out C-3PO over and over again. He's overloading the fusion coils on the
engine! We have to abandon ship!
Capt.
Proebyl: [broadcasting ship-wide] All hands, abandon ship. Fusion coils are overloading.
Again, all hands, abandon ship. [cuts ship-wide broadcast] Schlard, you're with me. Get in that escape pod, now!
Lt.
Schlard: Aye, sir!
[Capt.
Proebyl and Lt. Schlard Exit Picture]
[Image
Quality Degrades as Ship Begins to Undergo Structural Damage]
[End
Transcription]
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