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Episode III Review - FA Trevor Rastyn
So there I am on a Wednesday night. Standing in the Famous Players theater in Chinook Mall, waiting for the last installment of what many consider to be, myself included, the greatest saga ever put on film. A little piece of me wishes I had dressed up in my Royal Guard costume, but the more I look around, I notice the ratio of civvies to costumes is ten to one. Then I remember how damn hot the cloak of my costume is. Definately a good idea. I look around the room; a full house. I'm sitting in the second row and it stinks. My neck is already getting sore from staring up and to the left, but it'll be well worth it to see what I'm hoping will be the best Star Wars movie yet.
The lights go dim, the curtains open wider, and the audience starts to cheer.... Showtime!! The screen lights up and what's this?! A Toyota add?! "Bah! I forgot about those damn adds..." I think to myself. Then, the screen goes black, and a swirl of light fills the screen. "Okay, now it's show... Ack! Previews!!" I start to fuss in my seat, and decide I have time to take one more pee break. I return just in time to see the THX theme roll on to the screen. "Phew..." I say as I take my seat and let the show begin....
The opening crawl was great! The rush of the music, Star Wars fading into the void and the explanation was perfect. Those who did'nt get a chance to watch or download the Clone Wars cartoons have an explanation why Anakin & Obi-Wan are rescuing Palpatine. The opening star fighter chase was exciting. Fast paced, lots of explosions and the detail of the battle around them was amazing! The buzz droids was a bit of comic relief early, as was the scene with R2 in the hangar with the comm-link, hiding from the Battle Droids, but they both work.
The first duel with Darth Tyrannus was very short, but hey... The movie's got a lot to cover, right? Though, it must have sucked for Christopher Lee. Five minutes of screen time, for being one of the figure heads around the Clone Wars, kinda crappy, I think.
The next half hour or so was blah.... Go ahead and nap. Anakin's the hero, Padme shows up, Obi-Wan talks with Yoda, Anakin cries, Padme shows up, Obi-Wan talks with Mace, wash rinse repeat. Though Kashyyyk was awsome, I gotta say!!
So on to the battle of Utapau. Tres chic!! Obi-Wan's duel with Grevious kicked ass!! We get to see everything Grevious does in the Clone Wars cartoons, and more! (Oh yeah, and how the continuity of Grevious hacking and wheezing from Mace's Force attack was awsome to see!!) The arms splitting, the cutting off of more hands, the crawling on all six (that sounds wierd to me) was amazing!! And the best part of it all? "Ugh... So uncivilized." I couldn't stop giggling at that line!
The confontation with Palpatine and Windu/Fisto/Tiin/Kolar was good.... I was always under the belief that Mace was, hands down, the single greatest Jedi to use a Lightsaber. This point was proven as he was the last Jedi standing, but my problem is.... If all four that went to arrest Palpatine were Jedi Masters on the Counsil, why couldn't they have put up a better fight than they did? I mean, okay, Palpatine surpised them by drawing his saber and attacking.... But you think they'd know better than to bunch up where they're all within striking distance from one place. Oh well, had to weed 'em out quick, right? The finale to the duel was very good too... Anakin doesn't directly kill Windu, but takes the first step by rendering him defenceless, long enough for Palpatine to strike the final blow.
And now... (drumroll) Order 66!! Very, very good idea to have the Jedi wiped out, and how it fit with Anakin assaulting the Jedi Temple at the same time. My problem with this scene is again..... The Jedi Masters across the galaxy that just drop like flies. Ki-ada Mundi fought Grevious in the Clone Wars, and survived on his own until the ARC Troopers arrived. How he could be offed by five Clone Troopers is beyond me. Plo-Koon is shot down by two ARC-130 fighters. C'mon!! He's a Jedi Master on the Counsil!! Lucas could have made a brilliant chase scene, and slowly the two ARC-130's turn to twelve, then he's overwhelmed and shot down. The one death I do find plausable is Aayla Secura. She's just shot in the back. Lastly, I find it hard to believe that only Obi-Wan and Yoda are the only two that could have been lucky enough/had the intuition that something was wrong. Would Jedi Masters like Mundi, Shak-Ti or Luminar Unduli not felt the tremors of Jedi dying the same as Yoda? I dunno... I think that Lucas could have had a few other Jedi's survive Order 66 and either get ambushed at the Temple, or met up with Yoda and Obi-Wan and had another cool fight as they break in.
Now... Here's where I have a real issue. (Are you listening Lucas!! :P) With all the technology that the Star Wars relm is supposed to have, how archaic is thier pregnancy practice, that they didn't know Padme was carrying twins until birth!??! Don't they have ultrasounds?!?! Do they let the mother just carry the baby(ies) until birth and then decide 'okay, we'll give you and your baby(ies) a check up'? Yes, yes... "Padme knew, but didn't tell anyone..." Not even Anakin? The scene where she's brushing her hair she says 'I want to raise our baby on Naboo...', What?! She earlier in the movie (or was it later) talks about being open and honest with one another, but she blatantly lies to her husband, and father of her childern about carrying twins? Or, just simply didn't know... Which brings me back to my first point. Where's the Healthcare System!?!?
The final duels were awsome!! The last comic relief, (where the Royal Guards are knocked out, thank god I didn't wear my costume!) was great! I laughed my ass off, like everyone else in the theater did. Then the fighting. It was cool to see Yoda in action once again, and it was fun to watch the masters go at it first with Force powers, instead of straight to the Lightsabers. The scene in the Senate was pretty neat. Yoda bouncing around the spire as Palpatine had to continually turn around to see him. Then throwing the platforms around, and Yoda having to avoid them. I espcially liked how Palpatine was grinning from ear to ear and when Yoda turns around a platform and sends it back, he scowls, takes a tumble, and then continues to giggle his arse off. I noticed the first time I saw the movie, and payed closer attention the second time, but I think that duel explains why we never see Yoda with a lightsaber in ESB, or RotJ. He drops it when he takes his final fall back into Palpatines office, and we dont' see him recover his lightsaber. At least, I didn't see him recover it...
Finally, Obi-Wan and Anakin. What a way to finish it up! Hayden must have practiced in the mirror for hours... When he reached out to choke Padme, he nailed the hand bang on! It looked just as Vader did in the original. The duel through the control room, knocking out the protective shields and out on to the spires was fantastic!! Energy, speed, finesse... Sweet!! Then it moves to standing upon the droids and finally to the shore where Obi-Wan has "the higher ground". Now, people know that Anakin was a superior Jedi Knight, but let's be honest... Obi-Wan taught him, trained him and knew Anakin well. It's safe to assume the he knew exactly what Anakin was going to do, and sure enough, it happend. Trying to crawl up the hill with one arm, slipping down to the lava, the expression on Hayden's face. Perfect! Ewan crying "You were my brother", the pain as he watched his Apprentice slip away, the symbolism of parting ways by picking up Anakin's lightsaber. Excellent!!
The movie ended, and the lights came back up, and I realized, I had completely forgotten about my sore neck. The movie definately had my attention, and I enjoyed it very much. Four Death Stars out of Five!!
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