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Saphius - AD Pickled Yoda
It is daybreak on the planet Aurora. Most are sleeping. Cadet Saphius, however, was not most people. He had graduated with honours from the training platform of the famed Emperor’s Hammer Strike Fleet. Now he was frantically doing last minute packing and checking before his Shuttle landed.
One standard hour later, he was anxiously waiting at a starport. Then a call came through his comlink.
“This is Saphius”.
The voice at the other end was toneless. “Cadet Saphius, Proceed to docking bay 94. That is all.”
Saphius picked up his bags and headed towards docking bay 94. Once there, he was surprised to see a small Lambda-class shuttle, with some graphitii on it. Saphius could barely make out “GWIIA”, “GWSOoM” and “Khadgar will have his revenge” as some of the various slogans. He suddenly was aware that he was being watched by a human. The human shouted, “Yoda! Yoooooda! The fresh meat has arrived!”
A small green creature ambled down the shuttle’s boarding ramp.
“Cadet Saphius you are?”
Saphius replied, “I am Cadet Saphius.”
“Excellent.” Yoda pointed at the human. “This is Captain Joey of Odin Squadron. I am Major Yoda , also of Odin. In the shuttle are Captain Trent of Vortex and Major Vladet of Crusader, as well as the Ewok Major Choosh, of Phoenix. The shuttle is called Sarin’s Revenge. We wouldn’t normally be running the ferry shuttle service, but the ISD Grey Wolf is in the repair dock and we pranked the Commodore, so here we are.”
The shuttle ride was uneventful. Except of course for the whoopee cushion that Joey left on the Cadet’s seat. And Vladet’s attempt to convince Saphius that there was a navy restriction about haircuts, and his subsequent offer to bring Saphius in line with those regulations. Not to mention Choosh and Yoda double teaming to win Cadet Saphius’s first pay packet in a game of Sabacc. To escape the pranks and mischief, Saphius fled to the cockpit.
Captain TK-6686, known to all as Trent, was lazily flying the shuttle. With his legs. Laying back on the chair, which he had tilted backwards as far as he could, Trent dozed. He was startled by the cockpit door opening. “What is with those guys?” Cadet Saphius asked.
“Don’t worry about them…they just like joke or too.”
“Or seven” muttered Saphius.
“I’m sure you will come to like them.” Continued Trent
.
“What is this GWSOoM I keep hearing about”
“That would be the Grey Wolf Secret Order of Monks. Famous across the Tie Corps for crazy behaviour and pranks.”
“Sounds just like those guys then.”
“Yep, but watch out. Especially for those guys.” Trent paused reflectively. “And me.”
The Cadet sounded nervous, “What about GWIIA?”
“Ah…that’s our little secret.”
“Sarin? They were cross at him”
“Sarin is the reason we are flying shuttles instead of lounging on the ship. We pranked him…it was damn hilarious…but this is his revenge. Hence the name of the shuttle.”
“I…see….”
The large triangular shape of the ISD Grey Wolf suddenly came into view.
“Is that…?”
“You bet!” replied Trent. “The Grey Wolf”
Saphius was silent for several long minutes, drinking in the view of the beautiful ship. He noticed Trent was talking “….and of course the reason it is so clean is that the Monks have been cleaning the hull for about six months.”
After his snap back to reality, Saphius noticed that they were approaching the hangar….fast.
“Trent, shouldn’t we slow down just a teensy weensy bit?”
“Nonsense!”
Trent suddenly threw the shuttle into a huge rolling and twisting manoeuvre, and the violent spinning of the ship caused Saphius to momentarily blackout.
When Saphius woke up, he was looking at Joey and Yoda, who were examining him, in their capacity as ship’s medical corps.
“Oh good, he is conscious.” Said Yoda
Still in a daze, Saphius allowed himself to be led to the Odin squadron hangar, where he had been assigned. He assumed that the Squadron Leader would appear and give him orders. After a few moments, when no one had entered, he asked Yoda where the squadron leader was.
“He is….around…I am sure he will be here soon.”
Then Joey interrupted, “Yoda, stop fooling with the n00b.” Joey then addressed Saphius. “I am your squadron commander. Yub Yub, sub-lieutenant!”
With that, Joey pinned a rank badge onto Saphius’s uniform, spun around, and left Yoda to show Saphius to his quarters.
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