Being a bully and the publisher, we now have an interview with HA Astatine - current Training Officer, Deputy Grand Master and Dean of IWATS, as well as former Herald, Commander of Security, Commander of Personnel, Infiltrator Wing Training Officer (is this boring you, yet?), co-creator of the IW academy and all-round friend and carer of small fluffy animals.
EH
Cosmo - How is being TO nowadays?
Astatine - Long hours, bad pay, annoying co-workers. That's the fantasy
image I create to stop people wanting it. In fact, it's cool being TO!
EHC
- Are you really worth all that money they pay you?
Ast - Damn right I am.
EHC
- Which job do you prefer - TO or DGM and why?
Ast - DGM allows me to make more executive decisions and I have a lot
more freedom with stuff. However, I've only been DGM a couple months, so I can't
really compare them yet. :P
EHC
- We hear that you've been complaining about uniform in the DB - Krath robes
in particular - as being too scratchy and figure concealing. Should we be expecting
a uniform change any time soon?
Ast - Well, I was thinking more figure-hugging, with maybe a bold off-the-shoulder
cut, or a split up the side or some skin-revealing cut-out panels near the belly.
EHC
- When are you going to redecorate Daedalus (having been inside recently on
an investigative article, this reporter thinks it needs repainting)?
Ast - When the financing subcommittee gives me the funding for it.
EHC
- Do you think you've made a difference to the Training Office?
Ast - Yes, I do. Style, grace, poise, class, good work ethic, respect.
I've brought none of those to the Training Office, but we have a cool domain
name!
EHC
- Should we be looking for changes in the DB any time soon or is that beyond
your control?
Ast - There's always changes going on in the DB. We're going to try to
arrange a disco night for Fridays...maybe some Bingo on Sunday as well.
EHC
- How do you feel about being able to use Doppelganger?
Ast - It's cool. I can blame things on my Evil Twin(tm). It's all very
Multiplicity-like. :P
EHC
- Has getting DGM made any difference in your life?
Ast - Yeah, I get to hang around Krath chicks all day.
EHC
- Is it likely to?
Ast - Yeah. :P
EHC
- Some people have been tying the knot recently in the EH... is this likely
to happen to you or are you going to remain a lone shark in a pool of cadets?
Ast - I doubt there's a woman on the planet that'd put up with me.
EHC
- How would you best describe your character for all those out there who don't
know you as well as others?
Ast - I'm a caring, sharing 90s guy. I care about the environment and
want to see an end to war and world hunger. I sponsor half a dozen kids in Africa.
Goooooooo Greenpeace!
EHC
- You commonly refer to yourself as the CS "whipping boy". Do you enjoy bondage
or do they force you into it?
Ast - No, I don't enjoy it. And if you see any videos of me being whipped
and saying "Harder!!", they're fakes! Destroy them.
EHC
- What would be your ideal way to spend a Saturday and why?
Ast - Being able to sit on IRC, talk to friends and not be harassed.
That or a wild sex romp with Natalie Portman. I don't think I need to explain
the answer. :P
EHC
- Which Krath would you most like to whisk away as your luxury on Desert Island
Discs?
Ast - I've heard that KAP Mairin is hot...
EHC
- Is there anything you would like to change about your appearance? If so, what
and what would you do to it?
Ast - Well, you see...I'm not what you'd call a..*cough*..whole man.
In the war...I was wounded and lost part of myself...yes, I broke a nail. Oh,
the humanity! Seriously, if I could change something, it'd be my tragic lack
of style.
EHC
- Any closing thoughts before we rubbish your character in print?
Ast - Buy my motivational book and tapes and you too can be like me!
(Scary, eh?) And where's lunch?