FO Loses MoH!
Flight Officer Kessler was stripped of his Medal of Honour this evening, pending an investigation into harassment of cadets on the Training Platform, Daedalus. The investigation was sparked by the delivery of photographs by an anonymous party to the Security Office.
The disgraced Fleet Admiral claims to be innocent, adding "that could be anyone's ass!". Security Officer, Fleet Admiral Rapier, dryly commented on the Flight Officer's claims, "Yeah, that's what they all say. I'm sure everyone will be able to make their own decisions when the pictures are leaked onto the EH holonet later this evening on pay-per-view."
Dean of IWATS, Fleet Admiral Astatine, could not be contacted in regards to the cadets and the alleged harassment. It's rumoured he's hiding under his desk, babbling like a mad fool following the recent apparent defection of one of his most trusted staff, Vice Admiral Kusanagi, formerly Director of the Elite Starfighter Training division of the Imperial academy.
Challenge Pilots heartbroken!
Pilots aboard the ISD Challenge tonight are still reeling from the effects of the notorious "I LOVE YOU" email virus. The virus, believed to have originated from a New Republic-run spamming station, has swept through the Wing, while the rest of the Fleet remains untouched.
"It's just unbelievable," commented one pilot, "Who would want to do such a nasty thing to Wing X? We're so well liked!" It's believed that this mentality is what sparked the explosive infection rate, resulting in mail servers crashing, official Wing X documentation being rebadged "Wing XXX" and the Wing's recreational systems going down.
There have been unconfirmed reports of Sovereign pilots sending emails titled "WE STILL DON'T LOVE YOU" to the Challenge.
Training Officer Gets HA
The Fleet's favourable and lovable educator has once again risen to the rank of High Admiral, the most coveted of ranks and the highest possible without getting Executive Officer. When questioned about his recent promotion, the Training Officer replied with "Oh, it's great! I get to use those High Admiral toilets again. They're cool. The soft toilet paper is there and the really nice high quality hand wash and the wash basin temperature is just right. Plus I've got my HA Gold Card again!"
Some officers are still mystified at the High Admiral's self-imposed demotion and recent promotion, given constant allegations of misconduct and corruption. "I still say he's on crack." Grand Moff Armus said during a recently budget meeting.
The Tactical Office is running a "How-Long-Until-Ast-Gets-His-Sorry-Ass-Demoted-Again" Pool. Details available from the Tactical Officer.