Sex Tips

Now you have your Admiral...

Find out how to keep him happy!

The Cosmospolitan's favourite intrepid reporter goes to extreme lengths to bring you this important information!

Grand Admiral: Ok, we didn't go here. He's a bit married.
Sector Admiral: Get kinky and feel the Force flow, baby!
High Admiral: First and foremost, don't rub him up the wrong way... he has the LAACDOC (and apparently knows how to use it!). Secondly, bear in mind that some HA's are "otherwise inclined" and if they leant over the other way would probably fall over. In such cases, it is nearly always better to give than to receive. There is also one HA in particular who just loves those cadets (not unlike a certain FA we all know and love): Mr. Astatine le TO himself. Just bear in mind that getting into Daedalus (otherwise known as Astatine's harem) is easy... getting out again is a lot harder.
Fleet Admiral: Fleet Admirals are curious little beings... One favourite fetish of the FA is for cadets, so either dress up as one or become one all over again - just make sure that the TO doesn't lock you into Daedalus and have his incomparably wicked way (although this can be great fun) with you before you get to your FA. Bear in mind also that the mind in some FA's is definitely willing, but the flesh is getting a little decrepit, so use his lightsabre well - for there will be only one.

This article was brought to you today by the letters M and A and the number 19.