Vortex Squadron
Report #5
6.10.2005 - CPT Keiran Laserlight
Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet
Friday, 10th June 2005 CPT Keiran Laserlight reporting: Keiran's stories From the desk of the CMDR We all know how did the story end ;). MAJ Keiran
is in the Reserves drinking well deserved RSV beer and CPT Szydlowski
and LT Illesial are here with us where bathing tube and freedom fight
are availible everyday. Give a warm welcome to Illesial. He is a fine
pilot of MP. Something what this squadron badly needed. A slow week
from me as the Squadron Commander. I really found myself as real
abandonware fan. What I found this week is Frointier:First Encounters,
Lemmings, Simon the Sorcerer and Ultima 4. I'll take another slower
week this time. then I am back to my XWA. (Hey! Everybody need
vacation!) What's up? - Fleet 1. ,
(COMMA) found. It's Kodiak. No way. Happy COMMAing Koddes. ASF/Ship/Wing 1. New Phoenix Squadron Commander is CM Danniel
Russel. Met him already. Nice guy :P 2. Recruiting
campaign started to rise our numbers. Got any friends? Recruit them. ;) 3. MSE's are done and hopefully we'll get our
goodies soon. Squad 1. A new member arrived in. Welcome to
Lieutanant Illesial. He seemes to be a MP ace. Well see soon. He made
his way to LT through making MP course. 2. Squadron Message Board http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=96 3. Squadron Website http://vortexsquadron.minos.net/
It wasn't updated lately. I must do it if I
find some time. 4. We've got communications and IRC activity
from all around the squadron. I am proud of you boys! 5. As of the activity: It's VERY, VERY high! I
got my FREEs processed, BSFs from LT Feco are which made him earn the
Commendation of Bravery, an IWATS from Illesial and more spam on the MB
and a fiction by Quat'r Zax :) Contacts & Activities CMDR/CPT Keiran Laserlight, Vortex Leader e-mail activities, IRC presence,
Messageboards posts, CMDR stuff 6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 6 6/3/2005
Submitted the Vortex Squadron to the rescue!
competition 6/3/2005 Received
an Iron Star - Silver Ribbon for 1st place in New Wing Commander's
Clothes 6/3/2005 Received
an Iron Star - Silver Wings for 1st place in Wolfpack FCHG Race May 2005 . FM/LT Thomace, Vortex Two IRC presence. FM/CPT Adam Szydlowski, Vortex Three e-mail contact
FM/LT Quat'r Zax, Vortex Seven Heavy MB activity. Also
in contact by e-mail and IRC FL/LT Feco, Vortex Nine e-mail and MB contact. Technical problems with
XvT. I am on case. 6/8/2005
Completed TIE-FREE 256 (Operation:Virgin submision) In contact. E-mail, MB and IRC. Runs
Trivia after the EH & TC meetings. FM/LT Illesial, Vortex Eleven IRC contact. 6/7/2005 Joined
the Vortex from Daedalus 6/10/2005 Passed the
Multiplayer IWATS Course (100%) Summary: 5 on IRC 1 in e-mail
contact 0 out of
contact 21 BSF 1 IWATS 0 MP 0 GFX 1
Fiction *** You should know that I really prefer IRC
activity - as a primary source of contact. The IRC is a shareware
program - everybody can get it to try. Click the link www.mirc.com
to find more. E-mail and messageboards are basic. IRC is really what's
you should get! Promos/Medals/Transfers Cadet Illesial
was promoted to Sub-Lieutenant
Sub-Lieutenant
Illesial was promoted to Lieutenant Captain Keiran
Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Wings for the 1st place in Wolfpack FCHG race May
2005 Rankings Fleet Commander's Honor Guard Archon
Adam
Szydlowski 1672
(2nd in Wing)
Archon
Keiran Laserlight
1571 (+23)
(4th)
Grenadier Feco
32 (+12)
(24th) [3 up]
Not Rated Quat'r Zax
0
(30th)
[1 down] Not Rated Thomace
0
(30th) [1 down] Not Rated Illesial
0
(30th)
Combat Ratings Officer 1st
Adam Szydlowski
63
(3rd in Wing) Marksman 4th Keiran
Laserlight 14
(8th) Certified
Kodiak Kereban
7
(11th) Not Rated Feco
0
(17th) Not Rated Quat'r Zax
0
(17th) Not Rated Thomace
0
(17th) Not Rated
Illesial
0
(17th)
Competitions Held by: CPT Keiran
Laserlight, Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer
(keiranlaserlight@o2.pl) Deadline: 1st July 2005 Competitors: Vortex Squadron What is it all about?: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewtopic.php?t=1092 Held by: CPT Keiran
Laserlight, Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer
(keiranlaserlight@o2.pl) Deadline: 1st July 2005 Competitors: Vortex Squadron What is it all about?: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewtopic.php?t=1114 Wolfpack Recruitment Competition Held by: LC Ambar Kilick, Wing XIII Wing
Commander (ambar.kilick@gmail.com) Deadline: 13th June 2005 Competitors: Wing XIII What is it all about?: Recruit for the Grey
Wolf. Of course follow the Bylaws and EHCoC which say "No direct
recruiting!". Try on the Daedalus and in the Reserves. Medals to smack: Iron Star - Silver Ribbon, Iron
Star - Bronze Ribbon Held by: VA Gidda,
Agreggor Strike Force Battlegroup
Commander (ehgidda@tiscalinet.it) Deadline: 31st December 2005 Competitors: ASF and Avenger Squadron What is it all about?: Fly for the Emperor's
Hammer in the XvT and XWA Weeks of War. The bert three pilots get the
shiney medals. Medals to smack:
Iron Star - Gold Wings, Iron Star - Silver Wings, Iron
Star - Bronze Wings, Legion of Combat, Distinguished Flying Cross Held by: VA Gidda,
Agreggor Strike Force Battlegroup
Commander (ehgidda@tiscalinet.it) Deadline: 18th June 2005 Competitors: ASF and Avenger Squadron What is it all about?: Create a GFX of Agressor
Strige Force banner. If you win your submission will be used
officially. Submissions must be in .jpg or .gif format, size is free
but remember that your banner must fit well in the ASF Roster page. Citations Squadron Citations (5) (-141)
TIE-TC
Battle 3 - New Dimensions VORTEX SQUADRON : Infiltration COMMANDER: CPT
Keiran Laserlight NICKNAME: Wings of Death MOTTO: Run and you will only die tired! HOMEPAGE: http://vortexsquadron.minos.net/ MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=96 FLIGHT I - TIE ADVANCED Nickname: The wings of wrath Motto: Swift death to all 2) LT
Thomace 4) TBA FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT Nickname: The wings of justice Motto: We shall prevail 1) TBA 2) TBA 4) TBA FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED Nickname: The wings of balance Motto: We are the bringers of destruction 1) LT
Feco 3) LT
Illesial 4) TBA Final words "Run and you will only die tired!" <SALUTE> Captain Keiran Laserlight Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer CMDR/CPT Keiran Laserlight/Vortex/Wing XIII/ISD
Grey Wolf BSx4/PCx7/ISMx3/MoI-BC/IS-5BW-12BR-5SW-17SR/LoC-CSx2-Rx4/CoB/OV-2E [ARCN]
{IWATS-AIM-CBX-FZ-HIST-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1-LIN-M/1/2-MP-SM/3-TT-WM-WPN} "Good looking officer is a good officer" This report is for the interior use of the
Emperor's Hammer TIE Corps gaming club. Whole message or any part of
it's contents can be copied, distributed, read(!), printed, quoted,
commented, eaten or everything else you can only imagine. I will be thankful for any comments at
keiranlaserlight@o2.pl
TIE Corps
Vortex
Squadron Report #5
Transfers,
eh?
-1-
Platform Daedalus, Training Center of the TIE Corps
Cadet Illesial was just entering his training capsule. A
little smaller than an usuall EH Flight Simulator, the capsule, was
designed to learn a wanna-be-a-pilot the basics of flight, familiaraze
with flightsuit and all the Cadet stuff you probably remember. Illesial
wasn't a ussuall CT thought. His skills were high even before joining
the Emperor's Hammers cause. But the training was compulsoraly. And
boring. Illesial just sit down into it, pushed all the required butons
and waited for the other Cadets to follow. Unfortunately there were
those two new CTs who have never seen such a complicated device as the
training chamber. Illesial had some time for himself then. He closed
his eyes and...
Frigate Phoenix, TIE Corps
Reserves
Captain
Adam Szydlowski was sitting in his chambers. AH! An easy life of a
reservist! All these Twi'lek slaves and all-day cantinas. Life of a God
you'd say. Speaking of cantina - CPT Szydlowski was thirsty. He could
stand up, open the door and take a few steps using the right corridor
to enter the turbolift #21 and head to the nearest bar. He could. And
probably he would. But unfortunately his FRG Phoenix room entered the
Twilight Zone where ussual things don't happen very often...
Impeiral Star Destroyer Mk.II "Grey
Wolf", ASF Flagship
Major Keiran was just entering his
fighter. The mission wasn't going to be hard. Simple convoy escort
mission deep in the EH Territories. A quick flight and he will be back
aboard. Major Keiran fastened his safety belts and checked his Flight
status. All pilots were ready. He asked for permision to launch, after
a second he reply came in. A minute later four Missile Boats in Line
formation left the Hangar Bay and headed for Hyperspace Bouy. Finally
in space. Major Keiran ordered his pilots to prepeare to jump.
5..4..3..2..1.. The lever was pulled and the stars changed into...
-2-
Somewhere
CT Illesial woke up in a dark room. After several seconds he spotted
the switch and turn the light on. The room was completly empty and
somehow black and white only so he left it. The sight beyond the
door was outstanding. It was a Civic Center of some kind off village.
Everything colorful and happy. Illesial looked around confused.
"I have a feeling I am not on Daedalus anymore" he grined. After
a second he realised he is not alone - there were some kind of small
people in the bushes and one of them was approching. He was wearing...
wel he was all furry and small.
"I am Frodo of the Halflings! Please spare me and my people oh mighty
wizard! "
"I am not a wizard! I am CT Illesial of the..."
"All I wanna know is why you killed our friend and protector, the good
witch of North?!" - Frodo said pointing a pair of legs hanging out of a
wall.
"Bah...Rebel scum." - Illesial said. He took a look at the corpse and
spotted a pair of red slippers. He took them with himself. As he
predicted - there was a Rebel symbol on each. - "Whare am I?" - he
asked, looking an the Frodo with the evil gaze.
"It's the TACLand, the district of Corps" - Frodo said proudly
"Right." - Illesial replied - "Who's in charge here?" - Illesial was
hearing scared whispers in the bushes.
"The Wonderful Wiard of Corps. But beware. He is even more powerful
than the witch you defeated" - Frodo said and fled
"How I am going to find him!?" - Illesial shouted angry
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - a whisper
appeared
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - a silent voice said
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - somebody said aloud
"OK
I'll follow the kinky, pink road. Now shut up!" -
Illesial shouted. But it was too late. A song appeared as Illesial
started to run away using the kinky pink road.Follow the kinky,
pink road.
"Follow the kinky, pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
He'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of
Corps!"
-3-
Illesial stopped running away from the evil Hobbits when
he ecountered a crosroads. Fortunately another confused Imperial
Officer was around. MAJ Keiran woke up in a pile of hay. "I have a feeling I am not in hyperspace anymore" he
grined. But after looking around a smile appeared on his face. This
land wasn't so bad. No starships, fighters and other Keiran's. A Heaven
you'd say. When Keiran spotted Cadet Illesial a quick conversation
began.
"So! What are you looking for?" - MAJ Keiran asked
"It appears that the
leader of this land. It's a guy named "The
Wonderful Wizard of Corps". We need to find him to get out." - CT
Illesial replied
"Get out? It's cool here!"
"Sir, I don't think so. I've liberated the locals from Rebel presence.
We need to fight! It's Imperial's life target!"
"Bah... All I want is a mug of free beer."
"If The
Wonderful Wizard of Corps makes wishes as heard, you may ask him for
one."
"Great, where to look?"
"We need to follow
this kinky pink road"
THE ANNOYING SONG APPEARED FROM NOWHERE
"Follow the kinky,
pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of
Corps!"
"OK. Let's go!" - MAJ Keiran said stunned
"Well there are two possible directions"
"Flip a coin"
"Heads"
"Left"
They went.
-4-
In the forest they've met another guy wearing an Uniform. CPT
Szydlowski moved towards them from behind the trees. He fell down and
hit he pink brick with his hear. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. He seemed
a bit confused about the road though. "I have a feeling I am not on Phoenix anymore" he grined.
He looked at Keiran and Illesial with an asking gaze. He seemed to be
hungry and thirsty. Also he needed a bath. Certainly needed one.
"Where are we gentlemen?" Szydlowki asked carefully
"It's the land of Corps and we are heading for The Wonderful Wizard of Corps. He is making wishes
so if you wish to have a bath or smtg go with us" - MAJ Keiran cut the
chatter to the one sentence. The time was of the essence
"Where is he, then?"
"We must fol...erm..." -
CT Illesial pointed at the road and used his fingers to simulate a
moving man.
"You say that we should follow the kinky pink road?" - CPT Szydlowski
guessed
THE SONG APPEARED AGAIN
"Follow the kinky,
pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of
Corps!"
"STOP that!" Captain shouted to the invisible voice
"They can't. And we should go now"
-5-
Our three heroes had many adventures which will be the topic of the
next Timothy Zahn and Michael Stackpole novels. We refer them as the
Expanded Unicorpsverse.
-6-
Finally
they've reached The Wonderful Wizard of Corps's Office.
"I am Cyric! The Wonderful Wizard of Corps!" The Wonderful Wizard of Corps said. "I know why are
you here! But to be sure tell that again!"
"I want some free beer!" MAJ Keiran said
"I want a warm bath and some food!" CPT Adam Szydlowski said
"I want to fight for the Empire!" CT Illesial said
"Allright then! All you're wishes can be fullfilled.." Cyric said
"YEAH" - the trio shouted
"...after you'll complete one ver simple little quest for me."
":/" - the trio replied
"What is this quest" - MAJ Keiran asked
"Well ther are three stages. First, there is that Mountain of Doom
beyond the Halls of Chaos at the Never Ending River. At the top there
is ye Olde Sin Factory which produces Flying Potatoes. You'll bring me
the one with the longest roots. after that there is that Frozen Lake of
Destiny beyond the woods of Destruction. It's been a home of a Gold
Dragon tribe, one of the last in the Corps. Slay the boos and bring me
his beating heart in a box made of his scales. Finally that there
is the Canyon of Death which was invaded by the evil lich king and his
army of ghouls, Well you must find a female lich actually and persuade
her to marry the king. Bring me the video tape of the reception
party. Don't hurry. You've got 72 hours to finish the quest cause I am
leaving for vacation."
"We should better go." - CPT Szydlowski said
"Would you accept these red slippers instead?" CT Illesial asked with a
bit of hope
"Yeah, why not." Cyric took the slippers and used the Magic Wand of
Roster Changes
THE END
2. Tactical Mission Creation and Beta Standards IWATS Course around.
Happens to have the lonsest name.
4. Yoda reports out some important
medal details from month of May. Read it out on main TC site.
5. Combat Operations Officer chosen. It's
Rear Admiral Scoser
6. In Freeworlds the evil New Republic will attack the Sith Order on
Sunday. FW piots to your machines!
4. Some or the ship's competitions ended. LC Kodiak Kereban won the
second plac in the FCHG race with me coming first. I've also won the
monthly GFX "Wing Commander's New Clothes" competition. Anyway it was a stunning month for Vortex
Squadron.
6. Two Squadron-wide competitions are running. Check them out at once.
7. We have lost over 140 Citations due to Illesial's joining.
Don't worry - we will re earn them someday ;)!
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 7
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 8
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 9
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 10
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 11
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 12
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 13
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 14
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 16
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 17
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 18
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 19
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 20
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 21
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 22
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 23
6/3/2005
Received an Iron Star - Silver Ribbon for 1st place in Wolfpack GFX
6/4/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 119 (Operation:Virgin submission)
(Mision High Score)
6/7/2005 Submitted the fiction for Vortex Squadron to
the rescue! competition
6/8/2005
Completed TIE-TC 3
6/8/2005
Completed TIE-TC 7
6/10/2005 Received the
Commendation of Bravery
6/6/10
FM/LC Kodiak Kereban, Vortex Ten
6/3/2005 Received an Iron
Star - Bronze Wings for 2nd place in Wolfpack FCHG Race May 2005
6/7/2005 Promoted to Sub-Lieutenant (SL)
6/10/2005 Promoted
to Lieutenant (LT)
1 on MB
0 leaving
1 HS
Lieutenant Colonel Kodiak Keraban received an Iron Star - Bronze Wings for the 2nd
place in Wolfpack FCHG race May 2005
Captain
Keiran Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Ribbon for the 1st place in Wing Commander's
New Clothes competition
Captain
Keiran Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Ribbon for the 1st place in Wolfpack GFX
competition
Lieutenant Feco received
the Commendation for Bravery for
flying more than 30 EH custom missions
no transfers this week
Archon
Kodiak Kereban
1588 (+1)
(3rd)
Operation: Virgin
Vortex Squadron to the rescue!
TIE-TC Battle 7 - Betrayal
TIE-TC Battle 41 - Rebel Demise
TIE-TC Battle 47 - Get That Rat!
TIE-TC Battle 49 - Construct the Sovereign
Roster