* MAJ_Ford got hit on a 'angry black woman' who said 'yeah, he's hot, but if I went after him, that'd be statutory rape' :P
<MAJ_Ford> She was 18 :P
<CPTCalvin> ...
<`Kumba> lol
* Night_Hwk laughs
<Ricaud> Women don't get too picky when they're over 400lbs, do they, Ford? :P
<Armus> I get hit on all the time. :P
<MAJ_Ford> She was more like 200... :P
<Armus> But then again, I'm dead sexy. :P
<MAJ_Ford> Armus: Right. And OJ's this close to finding the real killers.
<Ricaud> Armus: that's called "assault." We're talking about a different "hit on" :P
<MAJ_Ford> heh :P
* Armus smacks Ricaud.
<Ricaud> Though I can believe you get assaulted all the time. :P
<Armus> Just becaue the only think that hits on you is the billy goats doesn't mean you need to be snide. :P
<Ricaud> Jealous? :P
<MAJ_Ford> Armus, the only reason you'd get hit on is by terrified women who are trying to stab you through the heart with wooden stakes :P
<Armus> riiight.
<Ricaud> LOL
<`Kumba> so Armus is a vampire? :P
<CPTCalvin> I guess.
<MAJ_Ford> Look at his PA pic, Kumba, and then say he's not :P
<Armus> or somthing like that. :P
<MAJ_Ford> brb
<MAJ_Ford> getting chicken :P
<`Kumba> my monitor developed a crack in it last time I saw his pic, Ford :P
<Ricaud> LOL
* Armus smacks Kumba. I don't see your pic on there. :P
<Kaerner> heheh Armus
<Kaerner> <--- has his pic on there
* CPT_Sanj does too
<Kaerner> We all do.. question is, why doesn't Kumba? Hmmmm
<`Kumba> cause I prefer the nice sheath of anonymosity offered by not having my pic up there :P
<Werdna_LB> you mean you're ugly?
* MAJ_Ford doesn't have his pic on there :P
<Miack> lol
* CPTCalvin doesn't either :P
* Miack does
<`Kumba> actually Werdna, I look like Bean the comedian on crack with a Goatee :P
<MAJ_Ford> lol..
<Psyko> sweet God :P
<Werdna_LB> that's just how I pictured you
* MAJ_Ford has been told he looks like a young Richard Simmons.
<MAJ_Ford> (kidding, kidding.. :P)
<Psyko> lol
<Armus> So I don't think you have much ground to be insulting me, eh? :P
<Psyko> that's going in the Wing II Report, Ford :P
<CPTCalvin> :P
<MAJ_Ford> Psyko: No it's not.
* MAJ_Ford is writing the report ;P
<Psyko> uh
<Psyko> doh, fine then, next week's :P
<CPTCalvin> heh
* Psyko thinks this should be in QotW...
<Psyko> * `Kumba picks R2 up and locks him in a cage, and then opens a door on the other side in which a young woman can be seen standing, holding a large, wickedly sharp ginsu Knife, and bearing a nametag that reads "Bobbit" :P
<MAJ_Ford> *** MAJ_Ford has set the topic on channel #airlock54 to Wing V breaks 1200 in the MegaSov competion. Inkwolf returns today! Psyko and Jon are put on the W2 Abstinence Program for getting laid before completing CR 14
<Miack> lol
<Manesh> Psyko got laid?
<Manesh> What kind of perverted universe do we live in? :P
<MAJ_Ford> You get hit on, Manesh, you shouldn't be talking :P
<Ricaud> Oh no, look what you've gone and done now, Ford. :P
<Miack> lol
* Ricaud looks at his watch.
<Ricaud> Damn, I can't spare half an hour to listen to Manesh rant about how unfair it is even Psyko can get laid. :P
* Psyko looks up at the channel again
<Miack> hehe
<Psyko> oh yeah, the 2 bi chicks :P
<Ricaud> Though I still seriously doubt Psyko could get laid. :P
<MAJ_Ford> heh :P
<Psyko> Ric...I ain't lying, swear to God :P
<Psyko> BIP >:P
<Ricaud> You mean your two hands, don't you, Psyko? :P
<`Kumba> lol
<MAJ_Ford> Pib >:P
<Psyko> Ric...no...these 2 chicks I ride with on the bus...
<Miack> lol
<Ricaud> Uh-huh. :P
<MAJ_Ford> Bah...stop arguing about who got laid :P
<Psyko> 2 bi-chicks....very....fun....and...tiring...
<Miack> you mean you left and right hand dont you Psyko
<MAJ_Ford> Go do something nerd-like :P
<Ricaud> Oh dear, it appears Psyko has finally lost his grasp of the distinction between REALITY and DREAMS. :P
<Traktion> hehe, sorry, been away a LONG time! :)
<Werdna_LB> bah, there's more chance of him laying an egg than two Bi-chick
<Psyko> no...and Miack, don't try to say the same thing as Ric :P
<MAJ_Ford> laying an egg. Good choice of words, Werdna. :P
<Ricaud> Why are we even wasting typing space and finger energy insulting Psyko? We all know he's seriously deluded, so let's leave it at that. :P
<Psyko> I'm not joking, your just evnious :P
<Ricaud> It's hard to be envious of an illusion, Psyko. :P
<Miack> aha
<Psyko> it's not an illusion :P
<Ricaud> Alright, not an illusion.
<Ricaud> Delusion. Wrong word, sorry. :P
* MAJ_Ford ate fried chicken today.
<`Kumba> you know, it is apparer that Psy is suffering from lonterm IRC based Psychosis :P
<Bip> Uh oh
<Psyko> if it was, then I musta been taking some serious drugs :P
<`Kumba> *apparent
<Ricaud> Yes, Psyko. That's it. Drugs. :P
* AD_Pri ate fried chicken today too :P
<Ricaud> Somebody tipped a kilo of crack into your corn flakes or something. :P
<Psyko> hell, did any of you see me the last 2 days? :P
<Werdna_LB> well I noticed that the atmosphere in here has been better, Psyko
<Psyko> `Kumba, God no :P
<Psyko> though Ford has been attempting to beat Fondor's time :P
* Miack had the kilo of crack on its own the corn flakes taste like Crap
<MAJ_Ford> That was a joke, Psyk.
<MAJ_Ford> :P
<`Kumba> Fondor's time? :P
<Ricaud> Nice Miack. :P
<Ricaud> "Gah! What's this? Somebody's spiked my crack with corn flakes!" :P
<Psyko> yah, Fondor brags something like 39 seconds..
<Miack> yeah
<Miack> damn corn flakes
<`Kumba> ahh :P
<Miack> I only eat corn flakes when they are drenched in Alcohol
<`Kumba> 39 seconds eh..well, according to Jay leno, rats can pull it off in 2 seconds :P
<LCM_Jon> best way to drink em
* Bip ate fried fish today :P
<Psyko> lol
<Ricaud> You wouldn't like it on the Rel, then, Miack. :P
<Miack> bah
<Miack> why not ?
<Ricaud> We don't serve Corn Flakes. Today's breakfast special on the Relentless was two vodkas followed by brandy chasers. :P
<Werdna_LB> I don't see any problems with drugs or stealing, dogs sniff the crack of other dogs all the time
<Miack> hey thats not bad
* Psyko considers transfering to the Relentless
<Ricaud> Alcohol had been a problem on the Rel after a blockade of Supplies & Stores cut off all our drink from reaching the bar ... :P
* MAJ_Ford listens to El Scorcho again. :P
<Ricaud> But yesterday elements of Spear Squadron were able to "liberate" a alcohol convoy bound for the ISD Challenge. :P
<Ricaud> Our next target is an eight-freighter convoy headed to resupply the Sovereign. :P
<LCM_Jon> ricaud stop talking about your own alchol problems.. I haven't seen any afect with the brewery blockades :p
<Miack> is this Blockade for all the fleet ?
<Ricaud> No, just the Relentless. :P
<MAJ_Ford> Ric...try and take our convoy, and face cruel, violent, slow and painful death >:P
<EHNet> 2*** Sirrus {[sirrus@cad588.emirates.net.ae]} has quit IRC (Killed (Mooks (u are posed to be here >:P)))
<Mooks> pah
<COLRicaud> You could have used a more witty kill message. :P
<Mooks> yes
<Mooks> but it was just a clone
<Astatine> come on, Ric...we're talking Mooks here
<Mooks> it wasnt him
<`Quake> Sirrus??
<`Quake> uh huh
<`Quake> oh okay
<MAJ_Ford> Heh
<Mooks> i brought him on to gline him :P
<Mooks> and 4got to kill him
<COLRicaud> Yeah, Mook's idea of "witty" is probably "u sUcK!" :P
<MAJ_Ford> When 'Ford' gets taken, he's just going to use 'Sirrus' as his alternate nick. :P
<Mooks> beside.. i have no creativity :P
<Mooks> nah.. i'd use something old and stupid.. like your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries >:P
<Werdna_LB> "Witt" is my middle name...I'm not proud of it, but there it is
<Werdna_LB> ...there aren't many words that you can get away with with that line
* Shay`la looks around for NF....
<Shay`la> I'm bored
* Shay`la strips naked and runs around in the room.
* `Tharen now has his own dinky IRC office. :-P
* Dr_KDOG shakes his head...waking up...
* Shay`la dresses back
* Jourdain takes photos
* Ford salivates
<Ford> Er, too late.
<Ford> :P
<Dr_KDOG> no... not NF...
<COLRicaud> Err.
<Shay`la> lol
<COLRicaud> Ford. :P
<Shay`la> ohh
<COLRicaud> Ford, you'd better pray Shay'la is a woman. :P
* Jourdain sell the photos for lots of money to the internet
<Shay`la> I am
<Shay`la> silly
<Ford> >:P
<COLRicaud> Just that we know which way Ford swings. :P
<Psyko> Shay is a woman, most definatly...
<`T> lol
<Shay`la> http://shayla.ehnet.org/madShay.jpg
<Shay`la> :P
<Shay`la> This is Shay
<HerrSlage> Err..
<Shay`la> what Slage
<Shay`la> :P
<Astatine> heh
<HerrSlage> Let me draw a picture of myself in MS paint and I'll call it me.
<Shay`la> http://shayla.ehnet.org/aclose.jpg
<Shay`la> me :P
<HerrSlage> Ah. :P
<Shay`la> well me as ME not Shay :P
<HerrSlage> Indeed.
<HerrSlage> One question: Are you a priestess? :P
<Ford> heh
* Jourdain says nice pic Shay`la, very biblical
<Shay`la> bah
<Werdna_LB> certainly doesn't look like someone who would run around naked in here
* Shay`la smacks Jourdain
<Shay`la> I don't believe in any God so sorry
<Shay`la> :P
<`T> gah...I didn't Spot Loser-Boy
* Jourdain smacks Shay`la with a bible
<Werdna_LB> damn, is Tom in here :(
* Shay`la slaps Jourdain around a bit with rabid shaven Wookiee. "He doesn't like you."
* Ford grabs a hefty five-translation hard-bound Bible and flails about with it.
<Ford> Mwahahaha! :P
<`T> LB, you female?
* Jourdain slaps Shay`la with the catholic church
<Shay`la> http://shayla.ehnet.org/graduation.jpg
<`T> >:P
<Shay`la> ouch!
* Shay`la dies
<Werdna_LB> no, Tom, you a gimp?
* Shay`la dies because she HATES church
<`T> so LB, you ARE a Female?
<COLRicaud> Argh! Minger alert! :P
<Ford> Tom: Yes, he is.
* `T laffs
<Werdna_LB> no!
<Ford> Er...she is.
<Ford> :P
* `T pokes LB
* Werdna_LB smacks Tom and Ford
<Shay`la> lol
* `T pokes LB again
<Psyko> haha :P
* COLRicaud switches off his monitor before it cracks. :P
<HerrSlage> Andrew Witt Keeble. :P
* Werdna_LB feels abused by Tom, coz of the poking
* `T pokes LB again!
* Shay`la whops Jourdain upside the head with Knight's styrofoam desk.
* Shay`la is back to alive :P
<Werdna_LB> Tom touched me in my special area!
<COLRicaud> It strikes me that the EH Picture Archive is a real challenger to www.mingers.com :P
<`T> damn right I did!
<Ford> mingers.com? :P
<Ford> Tom, stop fondling Werdna
<COLRicaud> Just check it out. :P
<COLRicaud> Then compare it to the PA. :P
<COLRicaud> Then submit PA pictures to mingers.com. :P
<Ford> Ric.
* Shay`la draws her blaster
<Ford> The last time you said 'just check it out', the site in question was squirrelsex.com :P
* Shay`la sets her blaster to Stun
<Psyko> lol
<HerrSlage> No, last time it was whitehouse.com.
<COLRicaud> LOL Ford
<`T> I like fondling LB
* Shay`la points her blaster at `T
<CorranH> <COLRicaud> It strikes me that the EH Picture Archive is a real challenger to www.mingers.com :P <-- I thought it was more akin to www.uglypeople.com :P
<`T> heh
* Ford notes he didn't 'just check it out' :P
<Shay`la> :P
<COLRicaud> mingers.com ... uglypeople.com ... both the same essentially. :P
<CorranH> I'm just glad I'm beautiful :P
<Shay`la> lol
<Ford> Yeah, MoHo has a miiiiiiiighty fine arse. :P
<COLRicaud> I'm glad you're beautiful too, CoHo. :P
* `T pokes CoHo
<Shay`la> yeah can I see that Corran?
<Shay`la> :P
* CorranH remembers an old pic of Ric....don't you have a goatee? :P
<COLRicaud> I shaved it off. :P
<Shay`la> lol
<CorranH> Bah
<CorranH> It made you look 'ard :P
<COLRicaud> That was in my "artistic" phase. :P
* Ford supposes he should shave off his mustache
<Ford> Every girl he says swears he's a greasy Mexican.
<`T> lol
<COLRicaud> Ford with a molestor moustache ... heh. :P
<Ford> he says = talks to
<Psyko> lol
* Ford also found that tuft of gay hair growing rebelliously under his lip :P
* Ford promptly shaved it off... :P
<CorranH> Nasil hair? :P
<`T> gah...Ford your turning it a Ricaud >:P
* Ford is growing his nasal hair, CoHo :P
<`T> lol
<CorranH> Ewww
* COLRicaud is grooming his nipple hair. :P
<Ford> Er... :P
<`T> ...
<CorranH> Plural or singular, Ric? :P
<Ford> heh :P
<COLRicaud> Plural. :P
<COLRicaud> I'm going to get it permed. :P
<`T> ROFL
* Ford laughs :P
<`T> ew...
<COLRicaud> Or I might have my nipple hair done in a Jennifer Aniston style. :P
<Bip> ,,,
* `T attack Ricaud with some Scissors
* Ford wants a recording of Ric going into the stylist and saying 'Yes, I'd like my nipple hair done in a Jennifer Aniston cut'
<`T> wahahahahaha >:P
<COLRicaud> Done and done, Ford. :P
<Ford> Next he'll be dying his pubes... :P
<COLRicaud> What do you mean "next"? :P
<Ford> But, for the record, Ford has no desire to hear if you do :P
<CorranH> Wasn't her hair style called a shag? I'd be careful what you say to hairdressers ric :P
<Ford> lol :P
<JonFood> lol
<COLRicaud> "Yes, hello Miss Hairdresser type person. I'd like you to give my nipple hair a shag."
<Psyko> "I want a shag"
<Mooks> for those who care.. i choose themoox.net >:P
<Werdna_LB> "I'd like you to shag my nipples"
* Ford laughs :P
<Astatine> we don't care
* `T laffs
<Mooks> oh :P
<CorranH> Miss Hairdresser? Nah, it'll be some gay bloke, they always are. I bet he's called Tarquin or Bartholemew :P
<COLRicaud> Yeah. :P
<Ford> lol
<Ford> There's a gay hair-stylist in town.
<TurtleXiV> lol
* Ford knows a guy who gets his hair done there.
<Ford> He even wears those gay shoulder-sculps :PO