(or: 2 Pilots want to have fun and rush into the mess of their life)

"Hi Shae!" he said "How was your leave?"

Mike took a careful look at her. Something was definately wrong with her. Mike wasn´t able to tell exactly WHAT it was, but something WAS wrong. He drank a quite big amount of his Wookie Pukie before he took a deep breath and asked her. "Shae...call it instinct or whatever you want, but i can feel that something is wrong about you! What happened on your leave? I´ll respect it if you don´t wanna tell me ´bout it but maybe i can help."

Shae slowly stood up and rose her right arm grabbing Mike's throat. Her eyes were dull and staring through him as if he was made of glass. She opened her mouth and spoke with a deep voice "Shae Kitane is dead, you mortal fool! I am Qetuwrah, God of Pain reincarnated into this young woman's body. The galaxy is mine and you will be the first creature to feel my power!" Shae's left hand lunged out and patted Mike's head. Then she burst out laughing and sat down again. "That's not funny, Shae!" Mike was a little bit angry, "I'm trying to be serious!" "Sorry, Mike, I do appreciate your concerns" Shae replied still giggling, "but I'm fine. Really. Nothing to worry about. I swear. If there was, I'd immediately go see Doctor Ras."

Mike nodded and watched her leave then he turned around and told Ramon to mix him a "Flaming X". He looked up at the big watch at the wall and thought that it was almost time for LCM Bayron to show up here, so he decided to wait for his friend.

Ras just returned from a millenium party and instead of visiting his new lab first he decided to step in the cantina for a short period of time. There was Mike sitting by the table, Ras approached him and sat down.
"Hey! Friend do you know Shae returned", - Mike was smiling showing out all his teeth.
Ras waived his head: "Ah, oh err... what ...", - he shaked his head again and looked at Mike with the eyes full of universal pain: "Ogrg ... Ufff .. What did ya said Mike ...".
Mike, being a clever pilot understood that Ras is currently somewhere else and only his body is sitting in the cantina. He grinned: "Hey Doc! I bet you should try your new detoxication machine by yourself ... I can see you've had a very hard n' heavy new year party".
Ras get up, and went out without saying a word. When he closed the door of his lab he smiled, then touched his head and headed straight to the detox apparatus. But when he opened it and prepared to lay in for some next hours he saw that someone with a beard has already occupied the place.

Mike shook his head not understanding that one man could drink so much alc that he isn´t back up even three days after. Then suddenly he stood up and proceeded straigth on to the medic lab. He took a careful look arond the corner and saw Ras starring at someone inside the detox app. . Wondering who THAT was (although he could imagine) Mike decided to stay and spy a little.

"Geez!" sighted Kayle and moved slowly in the direction of the cantina. Having finished all the paperworks as well as even searched through the holorec of the "Y-Files" he was kinda tired and overworked. He entered the cantina, but nobody was in there but the grinning Ramon.
"Beer, Kayle?" - "How did ya know, pal?!" Kayle catched the thrown bottle with his left hand. With the right he scratched the freshly shaved chin. "Where are all gone, Ramon?" - "Hey, Kayle... It's kinda late, amigo!" - "Geez! You're right! I should work less... Eh, Ramon... Know what the great thing 'bout a military structure is?" - The bartender shook his head - "Well... You don't have to make yourself a big head 'bout if ya like something to do or not... You're just being told..." Ramon laughed heartly, as usual being involved in polishing glasses.
The Lieutenant Commander emptied the bottle. "Eh, pal..." Ramon throwed a bottle high above Kayles head and Kayle catched it by grabbing behind his back. "...and after this" he contionued. "I'll order the squad to the briefing room..."

Mike twirled around as he suddenly heard a voice behind him. One nanosecond later he recognized that it only was the comm. "All Iota pilots: report at the briefing room immediadetely!! I repeat: All Iota pilots: report at the briefing room immediately!!" "Wheee...what´s that?????" Mike thought and ran down the corridors remembering the last time he heard such a callout. It had been the day when they had to search an asteroid field for an unknown shuttle full of rebels. The day when Kayle had to fly an unshielded TIE-Interceptor and faced a couple of rebel starfighters in a harakiri-maneuvre. "Well..." he thought "if this time we ALL have to fly Interceptor, i think i´ll head over to the stormtroopers! They live much safer down there!!!!! But otherwise.....they don´t have THAT funny cantina partys!!" Finally arrived at the briefing rooms door, Mike cleaned up his uniform, placed his pilot wings in a perfect horizontal position and entered the room.

Entering the briefing room Mike took a look around. All but two members of Iota were already present. Ras still looked like he had been kicked by a drunk Wookie and Kayle seemed somehow nervous. "What the hell is going on here?" thought Mike. He poured a cup of coffee (since alc has been strictly forbidden on duty) and sat down next to Ras. Suddenly he heard a loud noise from the corridor. Everyone´s eyes suddenly pointed towards the door. The door quikly opened...and through it came....LT Shae, binding her still wet hair into a ponytail. When she recognized that everyone was starring at her she sat up a shy smile and took her seat as quiet as she could. Mike turned around and saw that LCM Bayron stood at the speakers desk and was just beginning to speak.

Shae turned to LT Fox who stumbled into the room just seconds after her. "Nya nya nya, you're the last..." she whispered sticking her tongue out to tease her comrade. Lieutenant Commander Bayron cleared his throat and Shae quickly turned around. Her eyes met his and from the look Shae could tell that LCM Bayron was not very pleased. Hot blood rushed into Shae's cheeks changing their color to a bright red. Luckily LCM Bayron continued his briefing and Shae did her best to pay attention.

Fox turned to Shae and said Haha now your gonna get it!
"SHAE GOT IN TROUBLE" he yelled out to the room, after looking back at his commander, he shut up quickly as Kayle shot him a bad look. he was still laughing however at shae when she got in trouble.

Kayle cleared his throat again "Eh, Shae, Fox! We're not in school and I'm not the teacher! We're in an imperial briefing room and I considered you to be grown-up, imperial pilots!"
He hoped that nobody had realized, *how* nervous he was... Holding an official speech was quite different than to be wide-mouthed in a cantina... and interruptions wasn't quite the thing that would help him not to loose his concept. "Shae... would you let us all know, what's that funny?!" he grumbled. "Kay... Ah, Lieutenant Commander, sir! Now you're sounding like a teacher...!" Shae answered and smiled in a disarming way...
"Well, before that you behaved like a schoolgirl... I don't want to order somebody to stand at the corner, wearing a donkey-cap! And Fox... Would you mind stop laughing?"
That was the exactly worst placed sentence the Lieutenant Commander could have said. All the others joined in Fox laughter.
Bayrons fingernails scratched on the imitated wood of the speakers-desk and his eyes got and red-glowing glance...
"Uh-oh!" Shae said and after the others followed the directions, she was looking at, there was silence in the briefing room, again. Kayle sighted and relaxed a little...
"Well, am I allowed to continue? I know that isn't that funny, but I felt that it is to be said, okay? No time, than I will have finished and you're dismissed..."
So he continued with his speech.

Kayle told the Pilots that Merlin was away on some kind of secret mission and that everything has to be sent directly to him. After that he dismissed all Pilot except for SL Lohr. "Geez...that didn´t sound very friendly!! Poor Lohr!!" Mike thought and stood up. He stepped out of the briefing room and just wanted to make his way to the hangar to look after his old modified Corellian transport when suddenly an idea came into his mind. It took him only a minute to reach Flight control over comm and get a takeoff clearance. Then he stopped LT Shae who was just heading back towards her quarters (maybe to finish some beauty work or else [not that she would really need such treatment, but you never know!!]) "Hey Shae....how ´bout a little joyride through that asteriod field out there? Could be fun to chase some big stones in a corellian."

Shae considered Mikes offer "OK, why not." she said, "but try that "Ooooooh, looks like we ran out of fuel"-trick on me, and I'll strap you onto the front part of your ship. Understood?" "Loud and clear", Mike confirmed and they headed for the hangars. "OK, you do the flying, and I'll handle the cannon." Before Mike could even think of a witty reply Shae held her fist under Mike's nose wiping potential thoughts that may have risen in his brain. "Oh, btw., thanks for saving our story from a cul-de-sac, Mike." "What?" "Oh, never mind. Let's ride Ghost... and wipe that stupid smile from your face!".

Mike quikly started up the engines and flew slowly out of the hangar. Once outside, he turned the old freighter towards the asteriod field and pushed the throttle forwards.....the old but modified corellian made a jump forward and accelerated from 15 to 165 in what must have been less than a nanosecond. Inside the asteroid field Mike had lots of fun. He flew as close to the asteroids as he could and tried to give Shae the best possible shooting angle. "Geez" he thought after Shae had busted a very big one with two exactly placed blasts "That girl really IS a pro!!!! Don´t ever wanna be in front of her Missile boat!"

"Good shooting Shae!!" he yelled backwards. Suddenly something that was definately NOT an asteroid appeared on his front sensor. His heard was beating a little bit faster as he saw the blue blimp. It looked like an escort shuttle. "Shae!!!! Come down here!! QUICK!!!!!!"he shouted.
About three seconds later Shae appeared in the cockpit. "What´s up Mike???" she asked. "What do you think of that??????" Mike answered.

Shae's eyes sparkled with joy. "I want that ship!" she said imitating Lord Vader. "Living targets are much more fun to track down anyway." Quickly she climbed behind the cannon-controls, the heavy quad-lasers pointing into the shuttles path of flight. Just when she was about to release some bolts of energy Mike shouted "Wait a sec, Shae. Maybe we should contact the Colossus first. We don't want to shoot some VIP, do we?" "Aaaaaw, come on... just a single salvo, Lieutenant Killjoy..." Shae whined, not trying to hide her disappointment. But Mike had already activated the radio and called their Mothership. "ISD Colossus, do you copy?".

"Go ahead!" It crackled out of the radio. "Colossus we´ve got a unidentified escort shuttle located in the asteroid field. Imperial markings. No transponder signal. Looks undamaged. Can´t spot any movement inside. Awaiting further instructions." Mike reported.

"Lonely Wolf(Mike´s ship) try contacting the shuttle. If there should be no answer, stop them but don´t destroy it. I repeat: DO NOT DESTROY THE SHUTTLE!" "Copied that Colossus!"Mike answered and opened a channel to the shuttle "Unidentified escort shuttle this is the corellian transport Lonely Wolf of the Imperial Star Destroyer Colossus. You´re entering Imperial space. Stop your engines and identify yourself. If you refuse to cooperate, we are forced to open fire!" The shuttle just continued flying it´s way, not responding to Mike´s calls. Mike got somehow angry that an imperial shuttle refused to identify. "Colossus...the shuttle doesn´t answer. Requesting permission do disable it." One second later a "Permission granted!" came out of the radio.

"Shae!"yelled Mike "Disable that shuttle!!"

Green beams of energy lit the darkness and found their mark. "Hey, what do think you are doing, Shae?" Mike shouted. "Calm down, Mike" Shae said concentrating on the target, "Just weakening their shields. Just tell me when they're down, will you?" Mike starred onto the display where the escort shuttle's energy shields rapidly decreased. "STOP!!! THEY ARE DOWN!!!" Mike hastily yelled as the blue corona around the shuttle vanished.

Shae laughed "It's OK, Mike I have a display too. Scared I might screw up, hmm?"
Migh sighed in relief. "Might ignore "Return home" or "Ignore target" orders" he recollected the entry in LT Kitane's INPR. Bursts of ions hit the escort shuttle and scrambled its systems.

"Hmm..., that was fun. Not much of a challenge though." Shae said as she entered the cockpit. "What now, Mike? Are we supposed to board the crate?"

Shae touched her left sleeve "Oh no... I'm so stupid..." she thought, "I haven't collected my Falcon yet!" She rushed to a compartment and got one of the emergency weapons. "Are you coming, Shae?" Mike called impatiently. "You sound like a bloke I knew on O'Treege." Shae snapped. She checked the blaster's energy cells, released the safety and holstered the firearm. "OK, I'm ready to go." Shae said and took a deep breath

Mike unholstered his blaster turned the blast-intensity to "full" and opened the freighters docking gate. The first thing he saw was the ice-covered outer hull of the unknown shuttle. "What are you waiting for???" Shae asked behind him. "Open that damn door!" Mike reached for the opening mechanism when suddenly an idea forced into his mind.......he scratched away some of the ice and took a look at the shuttles reg. number. "Hhhhmmm....Escort shuttle L-4582A ISD Pulsar........ISD Pulsar?!?!?!?" Mike felt his blood run cold. His face began to loose colour. He turned around and said to Shae "Shae.....this is one of the shuttles from the ISD Pulsar...do you know what that means?????" Suddenly Mike realized that he was somehow.......scared....scared of what he might find inside.

"ISD Pulsar?" Shae was puzzled, "Never heard of it. Tell me more of it." Shae pushed some buttons to open the shuttles door. There were some cracking noises, the ice must have damaged the mechanism. Shae took the blaster in both hands, the way she had learned on Daedalus and began to free the door of ice by shooting it. "I guess it's ridiculous to jump in and to shout "FREEZE", ain't it?" she laughed. Mike didn't answer so Shae stopped her attempt to open the door and turned to her comrade. "I would be a lot faster if you helped me, Mike." she said.
Shae took a clooser look and to her surprise Mike Le Roy was white as a bed-sheet. "What's wrong with you, Mike" she asked, "You look like you've seen a ghost...".

Shae shook her head "I do not believe in ghosts" she said. "Just because you can't shoot at something, doesn't mean it's not existing, Shae" Mike replied. "Good point, Ghostrider. But we had to *disable* the shuttle, remember? So there *must* be someone on board and I'm going to find and neutralize him, it, them, whatever, if neccessary." Shae continued to melt the ice. "Shae?" "What now? You're starting to annoy me!" Shae put her hands on her hips and looked into Mikes eyes. "Just one more thing, hon... how can a shuttle be operational after being in space so long, hmm?" "Stupid question, that's imp..." Shae's eyes widened, "That's indeed a little bit scary" she admitted. Mike smiled, satisfied that she finally understood. "I'll go ask the Colossus. You stay here. And do not open the door! OK?" LT LeRoy ran into the cockpit leaving LT Kitane behind. Shae sat on the floor, blaster beside her, and waited for Mike to return.

"OK Shae...i´ll count down from three and when i´m finished, we´ll enter this thing together,ok?" Shae nodded again.
Mike started to count "3--2--1--GO!!!" He grabbed his blaster a little bit tighter, took a deep breath and followed Shae into the shuttle.

Shae hit a button on her blaster. The integrated flashlight created a small circle of light that hastily scanned the surroundings. "I guess nobody's at home" Shae said, "Oh yeah, wasn't *I* supposed to cover *you*, Mike?" LT LeRoy grinned. "Luckily I remembered the rules of politeness just in time to let the Lady enter first..." he answered. "Thank you, Ghostrider." "Always a pleasure, Mylady." A loud crack interrupted their conversation and turned to the direction it came from. Shae bent down and picked up the object she had stepped on. "Femur..." she murmured, "Here!" Mike caught the thing flying towards him. "It's a human thigh bone, Mike" Shae explained. "I've studied some anatomy. Makes killing more efficient", she continued as she saw the expression on Mike's face. "Holy Sh..., the whole floor is covered with bones!" Mike gasped, "OK... let's check the cockpit before we head home." "Aye. It's damn cold here anyway..."

"Look at that mess", Shae said as she examined the brains that were scattered all over the walls. Mike took a step closer to the body that sat in the pilot's seat, blaster still in it's hand. The cold had perfectly conserved the remains of "Colonel Lightbringer" as Mike read on the uniform. "Major Cho'gall, Commander McCormick... what happened to them?" Shae had noticed some nametags lying on a console and put them into her pocket. "No idea...", Mike remembered the scratches he had seen on that thigh bone... obviously teeth marks..., "but let's get the hell out of here and inform the Colossus!" He quickly grabbed the sheets of paper lying under the body's other hand. They were full of some text written on it with a brownish ink. Shae collected the flight recorder's data crystal and followed Mike out to his Corellian.

Mike closed the shuttle´s door went over to his own ship and closed the gate after LT Shae had entered the freighter too. He holstered his blaster and took a deep breath. "Damn lucky to be out of this again!" They went to the cockpit, where Mike released the locks and turned the freighter towards the Colossus. He reached over to the radio and opened a channel to the Colossus. "ISD Colossus this is the Lonely Wolf...do you copy?" "Go ahead Lonely Wolf" it crackeled out of the speaker. "Colossus, we´ve investigated the shuttle. The whole crew is dead! I suggest you send a tug to pull this thing to the Colossus for further investigation." "Copied that Lonely Wolf. A platoon of the Hammer´s Fist will board the shuttle and fly it to the Colossus. You have order to return immediately and give a detailed report! Good job Lonely Wolf! Colossus out!" "Copied that Colossus....we´re coming home!" Mike turned to Shae "Much fun for one afternoon, eh´ partner??" Shae smiled, but before she was able to give a matching answer a beeping sound disturbed the relaxed atmosphere. "What´s that??"Shae asked. "I don´t know!" Mike said and pushed some buttons on his console. Finally he found the information he was seeking. His eyes widened and he quikly hit a glooming red button in front of him. An alarm yelled through the ship as the massive door to the cockpit closed. Three seconds later all doors in the freighter had been sealed. "What do you think you are doing there?" Shae shouted. "Shae" Mike whispered "We have an uninvited guest on board. The computer just registered an unallowed entry in section C-4....That´s the food storage!!!!".

Shae looked at Mike in disbelief. "You really keep C-4 in your food storage?" Mike rolled his eyes. "Section C-4, that's the food storage I said. And we have an intruder on board." Shae crossed her arms, "Well, as long as it's *your* ship... feel free to check section C-4. I'll wait here and unless you return in... let's say five minutes, I'll hit the self-destruct button and jump into an escape-pod, OK?" Mike grinned, "As long as it's *my* ship, *I* am the one who gives orders. BTW., so scared? I hardly recognize you, Shae." "Ha ha, very funny. Let's both go, then. You first. after all you know the way." Shae decided. "Oh, if *that's* your problem I'd be glad to provide you with a copy of the ship's blueprints..." Shae punched Mike's upper arm. Rubbing the spot where she had hit him Mike turned around.

"Nice shooting!" Shae called, her ears still ringing from the thunder when Mike had fired the rounds. She stepped closer to the body carefully touching it with the tip of her boot. "He's dead, Jim", she tried to joke in vain. "Shae, we have a problem", Mike said, now kneeling on the floor. Shae activated her flashlight and stumbled back. The trembling white circle fell on a dirty standard Navy uniform.

"Ooooops! Looks like we hunted down an Imperial Officer!" Mike turned the dead body around to take a closer look. Four shots had punched through the once black uniform. A disgusting smell rose from the dead body. "Holy Shit! Shae....do you recognize anything strange about this comrade???" Shae herself took a close look "Nope...nothing unusual. What´s wrong with him Mike??" Shae asked.
Mike pulled the dead body into the corridor. He pointed to the four bullet holes on the body and said "That´s the fine thing about bullets...they make funny holes in everything! If you are hit by a .45 automatic bullet from not more than 4 feet distance the first thing you have to remember is to start bleeding! This comrade seems to have forgotten this simple rule....you see.....no blood!! Let´s get him to a sealed compartement. And then we get this buddy to Chei-Ras´ medic lab as quick as possible, OK?? I´m burning to see what this really is about!!".

Shae fell on her knees "They'll court-martial and execute us!"
Mike smiled at her, "Wrong Shae, they will shout at, degrade, court-martial and *then* execute us."
"That will be another bad spot in my record..." Shae sighed, then she helped Mike to drag the heavy body out of the storage room.

"Aah, welcome, Patient Kitane." SD Chei-Ras looked up from his work. Several colourful liquids in test-tubes, suspicially smelling like alcohol, were carefully placed on his desk.
"I'm doing research for my upcoming encyclopedia "Various mixtures of alcohol and their effect on perception" he explained. Then pointing to a nearby Couch he said:
"Please sit down and undress while I go get some instruments."
"I am not ill, Doc... I..."
"Really? Are you sure? Better safe than sorry, right?"
The door to the lab opened and LT LeRoy entered.
"Doc."
"Hello Mike. Please sit down and stick your tongue out while I go get some instruments..."
It took a little time and persuasiveness to convince the new Shipdoctor of their perfect health. Mike gave him a brief summary what and under which circumstances they had obtained the body.

"Phew!" Mike leaned to the wall outside of the medic-lab, still couldn´t believe he was still alive after all this. "Hhhmmm Shae...i´m not trying to convince you to anything you don´t want, but i´m in need of two or three of these "Chei-Ras Dropdown mixtures"!"

Shae turned to Mike, crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head. "Mike,Mike....can´t live without this stuff, can´t you??" Mike grinned "Nope!!" Shae shook her head again and laughed "Me neither!! Let´s go!" They made their way to the cantina. As they entered they saw LCM Bayron standing at the bar, a half-empty bottle of beer in front of him. "Oh Boy!!!" Mike whispered to Shae "So much for the relaxing drink! Now comes the tough part!" They carefully approached the bar and gave Ramon a sign to come closer. "Two Chei-Ras´ dropdowns....quick!" Shae ordered.

Bayron emptied his bottle in one single movement and slowly turned towards his fellow Pilots.
"OK you two Hotshots. I guess i don´t have to tell you that you what sort of bullshit you´ve fabricated over there???" His eyes sparkled and he looked like he could shoot the two Pilots where hey stood.

"But Sir...." Shae started an attempt to explain how this all happened.

"Shae!!!" Kayle´s voice was nothing more than a whisper "I can´t remember that i´ve asked you to explain anything!" He turned to the bartender "Ramon...cancel their order....this two have a more honorable duty to fullfill!!" "Since you are in need of really tough action i´ve got something for you! You two will escort the debris shuttle throu the asteroid field and then back to the Colossus! That should give you enough time to think about what you have done. Understood?"

The two Pilots nodded and turned around to get to the flight deck, but Kayle´s voice stopped them " And by the way: pretty good shooting!!" He grinned at Shae and Mike "Try not to be too disappointed about this! You´ll get other chances to earn the MoH soon enough! And now do as you´ve been told!! Dismissed!!"

Shae examined her chest "My uniform still has that nasty stuff on it" she said, "I wish I had the time to change. Btw., I could need some sleep too. I can't remember when I last hit my pillow..." Mike and Shae reached the hangars. Both were assigned to their ships and soon a TIE Advanced and a Missile-Boat zoomed out of the Colossus' belly heading for the nearby asteroid field. The mission was boring, but luckily there were no further incidents and all ships returned home safely...

"Home sweet Home!" Mike sighed as he reached his quarters. The escort mission was deadly boring and Mike needed nothing more than a bed and 10 hours of sleep to regenerate. He hardly managed to get to his bed before he fell asleep. "Geez" he thought "The next time i encounter a rebel spy on a abandoned shuttle somewhere in an asteroid field, i´d invite him to our cantina and give him so much Flaming-X´s that he isn´t making trouble any more."


----The End---

Ó Jan. 2000 LT Shae Kitane; LT Mike leRoy